Continuing with the 'oats for lunch' tradition.

Oh, and here's a mid morning snack.

After lunch I was still feeling a bit hungry, so I decided to treat myself, and have one of the Sweet William chocolates my mum put in my birthday goodie bag. It was only tiny, but it was still good to know that I was challenging myself, and challenging ED, even by just eating this tiny little vegan chocolate.

Plus it was yummy.

Other than that, blog reading, and sipping on copious amounts of ginger tea, I haven't been up to much today. My friend and I were meant to go to the beach, seeing as the weather was forecast to be 28 degrees, but it was raining and grey this morning so we decided to do it another time. I have to write a list of the food mum and I need to take with us to our 'in transit' house, because we have bought many things whilst living here, that only we (well basically I) eat.

I've already prepared dinner for tonight, because with my chickpea curry I have noticed that it tastes even better than usual if you leave it for a few hours, because the spices really sink in.

Love you, have a great day :)

Last night my mum and I had a long conversation about things. Things in general, as well as my feelings. Some of you may know that for the past three months I've been living with my grandparents, as well as my mum, who I normally live with.

Of course I love my family, but my grandma can be very analytical and critical about everything I do, wear, or, as it has come to light lately, eat. She never seems to be happy with me, and I always feel upset or flustered after talking to her, because she seems to want to turn every conversation into a form of argument. She also can make quite harsh comments that stick with me a while. If I say I'm cold, for example, (this happened yesterday), she'll say it's because I have no fat on me. When I'm cooking something to eat, she always asks what it is, then proceeds to turn her nose up at it or make some other comment. She's good friends with my great-aunt - who has a daughter, my cousin, who is the same age as me who I'm close friends with - and constantly tells me how S does this, and S does that, and oh my S is just so perfect and why aren't you like her? 

I remember, back when I had lost a bit of weight, but was just down to a healthy weight, she would still poke my stomach and say "you just need to get rid of that tummy now". It's like, when I was overweight and healthy she would make horrible comments, and now that I'm the way I am now she still makes those comments. What will ever make her happy? I doubt anything will. And living here, where I'm home most of the time at the moment because school has finished/I had lots of spare periods, and she only works twice a week, I just feel so....isolated. And my mum has been focusing on her new job, and hasn't really been home that much, so I feel alone, and suffocated, and isolated, and upset. I told her this last night, and I actually got quite upset when I told her pretty much what I just told you guys - that she makes hurtful comments, and makes me feel inadequate. We hugged for a long time, and she apologized for not being around, and reminded me that her and I are a team, and that it's always going to be her and I, no matter what. This made me feel more reassured, and I felt a bit better.

Thank goodness we're moving into our short-term place on Saturday, is all I can say. I think that recovery will be so much easier without all the problems here.

<3 Thanks for reading my long rant, I love you all.

No photos again today, sorry. I have misplaced my camera, hopefully I find it when I'm packing!! There's a few things I need to find.

I had some fruit and carrots for breakfast, followed by a lovely lunch of porridge. I love having porridge for lunch, because, well I love porridge in general, and I feel like having it at lunch gives me more time to enjoy it.

:)

The audition went okay last night, my voice cracked on some of the top notes of the scales, but other than that I think I did okay. I can't remember when I'm supposed to find out whether I got in or not, I think it's within the next week or so. 90 people auditioned apparently, and there are 45 spots. Keep your fingers and toes crossed!!

It's so warm today, it's about 28 degrees and so beautiful!! Really unusual for Melbourne weather, because our weather is usually so unpredictable, but mostly cold/stormy/windy/rainy. Today is just nice and sunny and bright, it's so nice.

I'm about to go watch some Veronica Mars. Have a good afternoon!!

Tonight I have an audition for a yabc (musical theatre) tour. I'm really nervous, I can't remember my monologue off by heart, and my voice is giving me trouble. I don't want to go anymore, but I really want to at the same time. I hate nerves :(

This morning I went for blood tests, and I had to get jabbed twice because the lady forgot to put the vacuum seal on the needle!! Double ouch.

I forgot to take photos today, but I promise I'll remember tomorrow.

<3

So, I'm eighteen.

:)

Yesterday was quite a relaxing day, I watched gossip girl, went out for coffee with my mum during her lunch break, went out for dinner with my mum and my grandparents, and then went out for a cocktail with my mum. All in all an enjoyable day, but it went a bit too fast :(

I think I definetly started the day off right:

Everyone was at work, so I sang happy birthday to myself :P

Today I went to the doctors, for a checkup. Tomorrow I'm getting blood tests, and this week I have to keep a food diary for my doctor, so they can see what might be affecting my stomach. Hopefully it all clears up.

On another note, I'm still lying here, watching gossip girl. I might go out and get some fresh air later on in the afternoon, but for now I'm quite content to watch television and read blogs, and relax the day away.

After all, we only get one life, don't we?
We must live it to the fullest.

Today was my last day of being seventeen.

I wasn't feeling too well this morning, still, but remembering the lovely Eliza's challenge, I still enjoyed a (late) breakfast.

English muffin with fruits of the forest jam.

It was great, and I think I enjoyed it even more knowing that I was challenging myself.

This afternoon/tonight my auntie, uncle and my two young cousins came over to celebrate my birthday. We had a bbq for dinner, and I had some vegie sausages and salad. I also enjoyed some of my birthday cake, even though my tummy was still unhappy. I figured, it's my birthday, I should just do it. I'm really excited for tomorrow, I got one of my presents tonight, from my uncle and auntie, which was season two and the beginning of season three of gossip girl. Can you guess what I'll be doing tomorrow? :P I still have yet to recieve the other present from them, and I will be opening that and my other presents tomorrow night when I go out for dinner with my grandparents and my mum.

I'll leave you with this photo, taken tonight of my 5-year old cousin and I.

:)

I think I should probably clear something up in regards to my last post.

The photos on the blog are not all that I eat. I eat much more than this, the photos are just basically from when I remember to take them, which at school is kind of hard to do.  I am quite the snacky girl, I'm sure you'd realize if you knew me, and I definetly don't just eat what is pictured here.

Thanks girls.
<3