Oats and Bows.

I feel sick/sore/slightly nauseous.

:(

Not so good when you have to go to dancing for 3 hours. Yeah.

I haven't been in a very good mood today. I woke up several times throughout the night feeling nauseous, and I almost wished I could just throw up and get it over with, but my body seems to have some weird no vomit rule. Okay, that's gross, sorry. Anyway, I was making breakfast, trying to get some nutrients before the big 3 hour slog, and my grandpa says "are you really going to eat all that?"

I'm sorry, but not exactly the best question to ask someone, I mean he probably doesn't know that I have/had ED, but it's still not the nicest thing to ask a young girl. After he said it, my mind started racing with "yeah you don't need this, you're sick anyway" but I still ended up making and eating my oats, even if it was a challenge to stomach it. Then my grandma says to me, after breakfast, I really need to go see a doctor because she thinks I'm not getting enough iron, and that's why I'm getting so nauseous. Fair enough. Okay. But then when my mum comes in, my grandma goes on to berate her and say that I really need to go see doctors, because I'm looking (quote) "skeletal". What a great thing, because ED really thrived on it. I tried to push ed out of my head, it was such a big challenge because all I wanted to do after that was go back to bed. In the car mum commented that I had been looking a bit too thin, and ed was like "too thin? show her too thin" but I shut it up.

Sorry about this post being a downer, but I feel really disgusting and blahh and wish my body would just let me be sick so I can feel better. Then my mood might increase. Hopefully I feel better by monday (my birthday).

:S

Love you.