Sorry about my hiatus, I've had so much going on lately, it's actually quite crazy.

My great uncle died on Thursday, and mum and I have been moving into our new apartment.

I promise to post properly once my life is a bit more organized :)



I do not have any photos, but I do have news.

a) I'm finished high school, forever.


If you're asking yourself did you read that right, you sure did ;) Tonight, mum and I randomly decided to stop at a place near our house called 'Oodles of Noodles' (cute name) and get some food. We got the vegetarian noodles to share and OMG. I can't believe I ever stopped eating this. We got to watch them make it, they barely put any oil in, and they stir fried it all healthy like. Which made me happy, because even if I need to challenge ED, I have always been a firm believer in trying to be healthy. They were so good, we shared a takeaway box and there was so much in it, that when mum put her heap in the bowl it looked like there was way more than half left.

Anyways, I was proud of myself. For both pieces of news stated above. I'm free!! From school at least, and one step closer to being free from ED.


Today was spent studying in the city, I decided not to go the library because it's air conditioned and obviously I still get cold pretty easily. Last time I studied there I was pretty distracted the whole time because I was so cold. Instead I went to the shopping centre, and sat where they have little tables with powerpoints set up. Only problem was it smelt a bit like fast food and fried chicken (to say a bit is an understatement), but at least I wasn't freezing my fingers off!!

Breakfast was cereal, but my study fuel was a little different:

Apricot-coconut fruit bar, and Cherry Pie Larabar.
I really liked the Larabar, I haven't tasted this flavour before but it was yummy, and held me over well during my studying.

Next comes the iffy part. Skip over if you are likely to be triggered, etc. Although I don't really say anything too triggering (I hope). I went to my mum's work this afternoon to get a cup of tea with her. We ended up having some roast vegetables and bread at a local cafe - let me tell you, these vegetables had so much oil on them it was unbelievable. Even mum agreed. I soaked off some of it with a napkin. Afterwards, I started freaking out, and crying, about how I will gain so much because it was like two tbsp of oil which equals XXX calories which is more than the meal should have been, and generally stressing out. On my way home I still stressed out, and seriously contemplated not having dinner. I went back and forth on that issue so many times, but eventually made myself a pita bread pizza. I lay on the couch and cried afterward. I just felt (and still feel) so fat, and horrible. I keep trying to tell myself 'you won't gain weight in one day' but it's not working, I can't calm myself down.

Sorry to be such a downer. I'm just sick of this life, if you can even call it that. I want to go outside and walk, but I'm so lazy that I can't even be bothered, all I want to do is cry.



Only one more exam until I'm free!!
Wednesday, 5.15pm is the date and time of said freedom :D I can't wait, but I'm still really nervous about the International Studies exam. We have to answer short answer questions, do 3 extended responses and 1 essay. The Media exam was easier than I expected, it actually wasn't that different from last years, which was good, because I used that to study for the exam. Oh, Philosophy was alright, a bit draining.

What does a soon-to-be graduated girl eat for breakfast before a big day full of exams?? Some cinnspice layered oats, of course ;)

Lunch was a sandwich, gobbled up between exams (plus maybe two bottles of diet coke :S). Dinner is TBC (to be confirmed).
The lovely Jessica tagged me in this little quiz, so here we go:

1. favorite variety of apple? pink lady. reminds me of Grease :D
2. apples dipped in..? boysenberry soy yoghurt.
3. favorite way to enjoy pumpkin? soup, or mashed with cinnamon and paprika.
4. favorite soup? with crackers or bread? pumpkin, with sourdough.
5. do you eat orange foods all year round? yes, they're the best kind ;)
6. most used spice in your autumn cooking: cinnamon, of course.
7. you are baking some homemade bread, what flavor combination of bread would you like to make? choc banana, or pumpkin cinnamon.
8. favorite autumn vegetables and ways to eat it? pumpkin, any way baby.
9. hot chocolate, hot cider, coffee or tea? tea, especially ginger.
10. favorite seasonal dessert? oat pancakes, or waffles.
11. lets make a fall stew! pick any 6 ingredients to create your one: pumpkin, broccoli, carrot, beans, cauliflower, corn.
12. pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, walnuts or almonds to snack on? almonds.
13. popcorn flavor/seasoning? salt and vinegar.
14. bowl of hot cereal you have been wanting to try: pumpkin oats.
15. post a link to a recipe that you recently bookmarked: oops, I actually deleted my bookmarks the other day, I'm cleaning out my laptop.

I tag Eleanor, Tatianna and Meg.

I'm not too interesting, but I hope that was entertaining :P Well, time to go study/listen to Owl City non stop.

Love <3


Only a short post today, because my Philosophy books are staring at me.

Today I had waffles for lunch.

And some of this.

Note to self: possibly drink less diet coke/coke zero??
It's weird, ED loves and hates this stuff. Loves it because it fills me up, and the calories, hates it because he thinks it will make me fat because of the chemicals and such. Blah.

I had yabc this morning again, seriously tiring. All I really want to do right now is sleep, but I have to study. It wasn't just physically tiring, but emotionally as well. One of the girls there has really been annoying me lately, for various reasons, and today one of the other girls, who is also a friend of mine, said to me during break "are you actually going to eat??" Not everyone was eating, and I prefer to wait for my lunch which was in 30 mins. But her comment upset me. That and she also said "Gain some weight, I don't like being able to feel people's bones." Err, okay, sure. :S It made me feel self conscious for the rest of the class.

Anyway, study time now lovies.


I hope you guys liked the video post, it only took me a million years to figure out how to do it ;)
Next time I'll probably (hopefully) be on my baby, and I won't look like a ghost/goth!!

This morning I had yabc, and it was so hot, it was so horrible dancing in the un-airconditioned hall!! Lucky I love it, because I was tempted not to go today. I have another rehearsal tomorrow. After yabc mum and I went out to lunch at an Indian restaurant. At many points ED was telling me all kinds of things about how I would blow up like a balloon etc. etc., but you know what I said in reply?? F-off, ED, don't ruin this for me. I just did 3 hours of dancing, so just go stuff yourself in a mushroom. Yes I did say mushroom. :P

The other day I got an email from yabc with an attachment about the 2010 Adelaide tour. It turns out that while we’re in Adelaide we won’t only be performing at the Fringe Festival, but also in various schools around Adelaide!! I wish I knew which ones. Anyway, I also found out which places we will be performing at in Melbourne in January. I get free tickets, so if any of you girls are from Melbourne and want to see me perform (with about 40 other people); let me know which venue you want to come to!! Here are the dates and venues:

Saturday 30th January – Substation Arts Centre, Newport.
Sunday 31st January – Frankston Arts Centre
Saturday 6th February – Coburg Town Hall
Sunday 7th February – The Castle, Dandenong and Berwick Secondary College
Saturday 13th February – Maroondah Secondary College (Croydon)
Sunday 14th February – Cromwell Road Theatre, South Yarra

As I said, let me know so I can hook you up!! ;)
Oh, and don’t you Adelaide ladies fret – I’ll be in Adelaide from the 8th of March until the 14th of March. Hopefully soon I find out which schools we’ll be performing at, it would be awesome if it was any of yours!!

And I forgot to answer jibbalibba’s question from the other day: I got my smooze icy poles from Coles, they’re in the section with all the ice cream toppings and cones. They were really good, by the way.

I'm off to study for media. Sorry, I haven't commented many blogs today, but that's because I just got home and I really need to study. I'll catch up on my commenting soon.



I'm sorry about the quality/sound delay/etc. of this video, I was using my lame webcam on this laptop. I'll be able to post better ones once I can use my Macbook. I get so awkward and shy on camera :\

Anyway, I had my new cereal for breakfast this morning. It was pretty good, well scratch that, it was delicious :) I kind of forgot to take a photo before I ate it though so here's what it looked like towards the end:

Delicioooous. Look at all them oat clusters ;) My only problem was that I only got two sultanas in my serve!! Mum told me that they all went near the bottom of the packet. Naughty 'tanas :P

I really should study at some point today, I have a mountain of media and philosophy books waiting for me. No, seriously, a MOUNTAIN. But after the exam yesterday, I need a bit of a chill out session. Oh, the exam!! I kind of winged it (wung it?) through the exam yesterday, I left one of the essay questions, but all I need to do with this subject is pass, so it's all good. No stress (well there was a bit yesterday, but shh).

I'm actually at my grandparent's house today, because the doctor I went to is down the road from their house, plus they're in Cairns at the moment so they won't know haha. The doctor's appointment went okay, they think my chest pains are anxiety so they prescribed some anti-depressant/anxiety pill things, and I basically had to get weighed etc. again. He wants me to come see me once a week now, instead of in a month like we originally planned. He also told me I need to limit my water intake (but but....I love H20) and drink gatorade type drinks (blech). One thing that weirded me out was that he told me to do exercise that makes me really sweat, like full on exercise?? Uh, does he not see me at the moment?? :\

Well, I hope you all have a great day, I know I always say this, but seriously I love you all.
Ich liebe dich <3


Good Morning.

Last night, mum and I went for a late night walk up to the supermarket, because she wanted some ice cream, and ended up coming back with more than just that ;)

Here's two of the things we got; Sultana Oat Crisp Cereal, and Coconut + Pink Guava icypoles.

When we got back, we watched Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist.

I needed to buy some cold cereal, because it's getting too hot over here for oats everyday (I know, sadness!!). It's going to be a challenge eating cereal, but I've decided that on my exam days I will have porridge, just because I know it holds me over well for long periods, and I need that when I'm doing exams. But after that, sayonara oats (for now at least)!! :( What will oats and bows be without ze oats?? At least my cereal has oat clusters :P See, I bet you knew I couldn't leave oats behind completely.

Tomorrow morning I have a doctor's appointment, which my mum made this morning, for a few reasons. Last night, when I was in bed, my chest was hurting quite a bit, and I was finding it hard to breathe. I wasn't sure whether it was because of exam anxiety or something like that, but I couldn't get to sleep for ages, because I was so scared. Eventually I woke my mum up, and she came and lay next to me, talking to me until we both fell asleep. I woke up at about 6am, and have only had around five hours, but I can't go back to sleep!! Anyway, another reason for the appointment is that earlier this morning, when mum had already left for work, I walked into the kitchen to get my water bottle out of the freezer (yes, it is that hot here), and as I paused in the doorway, I had to hold on to it with both hands. You see, I always get dizziness in the summer, I have all my life, but lately I find that whenever I stand up I get super dizzy. I've kind of gotten used to it, but this time I freaked out, because as I said, I had to hold on to the door with both hands, and everything went black, and I almost blacked out. :S So mum thought it was probably best to see the doctor tomorrow.

If you've gotten through all of that, you're a superstar. I'm a bit nervous for my exam this afternoon, but I'm trying not to think about it, seeing as I know this will be my worst subject, as long as I pass, it's okay.

Have a nice rest of the day, girls.



Haha I love using Australian slang. Considering nobody I know ever uses it, it's awesome.
How are we all today?? I'm pretty good, just taking a study break, I only have one more area of study to take notes on, and then I'll probably just read over all my notes again. The funniest part is that this is the most I've written in this exercise book all year. But that's mainly because my teacher wasn't very sucked, and barely gave us any notes, or any help at all. So I'm winging it, thanks to the textbook (which funnily enough, is written by my teacher, and isn't helping that much), and some notes for the subject I found online - thank you internet!!

Look at all the pretty tabs in my textbook. There was one colour for each area of study, and there's four areas of study. you can't really see them all properly, but they're tabbed in yellow, orange, pink and green ;) The areas of study are: Washington and Canberra, Continuity and Change, Public Policy, and Contemporary Australian Foreign Policy. Fun, right?? Excuse my horrible handwriting.

I'm currently in the state library, which was nice and quiet until these two guys sat next to me. They're speaking quite loudly, do they not know it's a library?! Gosh. Haha, I'm so critical sometimes, sorry about that. It's just not the best atmosphere when you're trying to memorize aspects of Australian Foreign Policy.

No eats to post today, because my breakfast was eaten on the tram, and my lunch was sneakily eaten in here about five minutes ago. Dinner's hard to photograph, because I usually eat with mum. Oh, in response to Neela, the book I was talking about is called Stasiland, and it's by Anna Funder. Even though I hated most of the books I studied for Literature, this one was actually quite good, so I recommend it to anyone who wants to maybe learn more about the German Democratic Republic. Listen to me, all nerdy like!! You ladies only come here for the eats, not my marvellous intelligence :P

My exam for National Politics is at 3pm, AEST (Australian Eastern Standard Time). So synchronize your watches, and think of me at that time?? ;)
I'll probably get a post in tomorrow before I leave, because I try not to study too much on the day of the exam, it stresses me out.

Have a good day <3


Guten tag.

Today I went to my friend's house for a 'study session', which turned into an iPhoto cameraho' session ;) We took breaks in between study to make gluten free marshmallows, and take millions of photos on her mac. It was one of the best days I've had in a while, it was great to be social, let myself go, and laugh.

The gluten free marshmallows, before they set.

Rawrrrr, I'm a monster!!

Awkward turtle.

I feel accomplished, because even though we did lots of other stuff, I actually got quite a bit of study done.

Oh, I almost forgot, I got a very good email today. Remember the audition I went to a couple of weeks ago?? Well I got an email today from yabc saying that I got into the tour!! January we will begin rehearsing, and then in March I get to go and perform at the Adelaide Fringe Festival!! I'm so excited :D

I'm off to go have dinner now. I hope you all had a fantastic day, you deserve it.



It's stifling hot here today. I went out for a walk just before, and all I wanted to do was sit in front of an air conditioner. I burnt my thumb this morning making a cup of tea, so now it matches my other thumb which I cut open cutting mushrooms the other day, what a klutz I am, seriously. And the burnt thumb just makes me feel hotter!!

These were the dvds I ended up watching with my mum last night:

I know, Hannah Montana is for kids, but suprisingly I like it ;D

The song she sings at the end, 'The Climb', really gave me a powerful message last night, so I thought I'd pass it on to you girls.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

That's just a verse of the song, but it sent me such a strong message of inspiration, and never giving up hope. And that's what life is all about, especially rebuilding yourself from ED. We need to keep positive, and keep 'climbing'. :)

Anyway, today I have spent the majority of the morning studying for my second exam which is this thursday. How fun :\

My lunch today was delicious. I have named this concoction 'multi-layered cinnspice oats'.

Oats with a layer of brown sugar, cinnamon and mixed spice in the middle, topped with more brown sugar, cinnamon and mixed spice.
I know it looks the same as usual, but trust me, it didn't taste the same ;)

Also, something I thought about last night: is anyone interested in doing a bar/food swap with me?? I'll send you Australian bars, plus other Australian goodies?? Let me know.

Have a lovely rest of the day.


Good afternoon, lovies.

Yesterday I had my end of semester assessments at yabc. This meant we each had to perform part of one of our numbers individually, in front of the rest of the class (which is about 60 people) as well as the dance and music teachers. I have had really bad blocked ears lately, and when I get this I can't hear myself sing properly. Guess what decided to happen on Saturday?? :/ Luckily it was only one ear, and I explained it to the teacher well before hand, but apparently I was good anyway, so hopefully I get promoted at the end of the year.

This morning mum and I went to the Camberwell Market, just for a look around. We bought some second hand clothes, and then ventured through Camberwell, shopping. I bought a couple of things:

Pop-up penguin advent calendar (I love penguins).

Itunes card, CLEO magazine.

Handmade scrabble tile necklace.

I loved all my purchases.

We had lunch at the market, I got a falafel wrap and sweet potato wedges, and we had some sorbet afterwards. I felt okay about these decisions at the time, but I feel sick and full and bloated at the moment, and ED is going crazy in my head to restrict, restrict tomorrow. I'm trying not to listen but the voice is so loud right now. I feel ill :(
I know this sounds weird, but one of my main triggers at the moment is actually my mum. She skips meals all the time, or when I buy something out, which is really hard for me, she tells me we will share it, but then has none. I end up eating it all and feeling horrible, while she doesn't eat anything. I can't seem to be able to tell her how this is affecting me, but it is.

Anyways, sorry about that. I hope you all have a great day. I'm spending the rest of this super hot afternoon lying on my bed, reading my magazine and watching dvds. Love you.


Hello there.

Yesterday was major, even though I only did one thing: Literature exam. It was so stressful, but I actually managed to walk out of there feeling okay about it.

Here was my pre-exam brain food:

And of course, the exam booklet, which I got to take home.

After my exam, mum took me to go see 'The Time Traveller's Wife'. It was really good, they stuck to the book pretty well, and it was so sad, but I already knew that it would be, because I read the book recently for the first time. I really reccommend this movie, go see it!!

Today I'm just having a day off, no studying, I will probably go and check the mail at our PO Box later, we'll see how everything goes.

Oh and by the way, go check out the fabulous giveaway Haylee is having!! It's so good, and open to everyone!! Check it out by clicking Haylee's name.

Have a great day, lovies!!



So this morning I went to the doctors, to get my blood test results. Everything was normal, he said that my Iron and Vitamin D were maybe a little low, but that those were easily fixed. Then he wanted me to step on the scales, which was obviously my least favourite part of the appointment. I gained. One week ago the scale was XX.70kg and today it was XX.90kg. Nothing to worry about, right?? Wrong. ED went crazy on me, saying how I failed and how 200g was still a big deal, because it was almost a quarter of a kg, and how many extra calories I had to have eaten in order to gain this much, etc etc. It made me really upset, but I couldn't show the doctor or my mum that I felt that way. It was so hard to keep my emotions in check.

Sorry if that was triggering or anything, but it's just the way I felt (or the way ED made me feel). It's like I have this whole thing under control, then suddenly ED storms in and demands to take control over me, and I can't do anything to stop it, even though I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.

Anyway, on another note, the lovely Nat tagged me to do a little quiz, and I thought I'd do it this post :)

I can't seem to get the picture, but here's the quiz.
Here are the rules:
1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Survey
1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket
2. Your hair? Messy
3. Your mother? Love
4. Your father? Miss
5. Your favorite food? Porridge!!
6. Your dream last night? Snails
7. Your favorite drink? Water
8. Your dream/goal? Freedom
9. What room are you in? Library
10. Your hobby? Music
11. Your fear? Letting go
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Politics
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. Something that you aren’t? Strong enough
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. Wish list item? Luna
17. Where did you grow up? Melbourne
18. Last thing you did? Blog
19. What are you wearing? Clothing
20. Your TV? Storage
21. Your pets? None
22. Friends? Some
23. Your life? Better
24. Your mood? Tired
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Vehicle? Car
27. Something you’re not wearing? Cardigan
28. Your favorite store? Chadstone
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Today :(
32. Your best friend? Studying
33. One place that I go to over and over? School
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Mum
35. Favorite place to eat? Home

Thanks Nat for tagging me. It's so hard to choose only six who I wanted to tag, I wanted to choose all of you!! Here we go.... I tag Maya, Eliza, Mitri, Rachel, Jessica, and Katie. :)

The rest of my day will include me studying at the State Library....not very fun. My first exam is tomorrow, I'm so nervous, you have no idea. It's hard to study for Literature, especially when you get given three passages to write on randomly on the day. Breathe, Amy, breathe.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!!


Buenos noches, my lovies.

Today I ended up going my grandma's in the morning with mum, it was a little awkward but I feel so relieved that I don't live there anymore. Anyway, we went there basically just to pick up our fridge stuff that we had left there, plus some other stuff, and we ended up staying for a cup of coffee (well mum had one). After that we went to the Radical Grocery Store, and bought some groceries (of course) :P

Parmazano vegan parmesan shaker, Vans Wheat free Apple Cinnamon Waffles, and Blueberry, pomegranate and red grape herbal tea.

I can't wait to try the waffles, I actually haven't had waffles since I was in Belgium in 2007, when my family friend's husband, who is Belgian, made us some. They were so good. I've actually been craving waffles lately, so it felt good listening to my craving and buying these. It was a hard choice between these and the blueberry ones, I can tell you that much!!

Tomorrow morning I have a doctor's appointment, and I'll be getting the results from the blood tests I had last week. I hope everything is normal, because I don't want to have to get more tests. :|

At the supermarket tonight when we were returning a dvd, I bought a cute new exercise book.

Yes, I am five years old. But so what?? ;D

Well, I'm off to watch Gilmore Girls now with mum, I'll chat with you lovely girls tomorrow.



It's only 4.15pm and already I want to go to bed!! I'm so tired, and it's not as though I've even done anything today, except study. Boooorrrring. But I really need to, because my first exam is on Thursday. Literature, by the way. Blah. I'm really hating it at the moment, it's pretty much killed my love of books. Analyzing them is definetly not as fun as just reading them for myself.

What did I have for lunch today?? I'll bet you can guess .

Of course, and it was yummy, as per usual. I don't know if I've ever shown you guys properly, but here is my favourite bowl.

All gone!!

I tried one of the cookies I won yesterday, so good. And I also had a bit of the molasses liquorice from the hamper. My afternoon snack ended up being a pink lady apple. Apples are always good.

Tonight my night will probably consist of an easy dinner, followed by hours of gilmore girls with my mum :) Then back to studying tomorrow. I might be going to the Radical Grocery Store as well, which is an organic/vegan grocery store that I've never been to, but I got a 15% off voucher yesterday that is only for tomorrow, so hopefully I can convince mum to drive me there!!

Have a good afternoon/day.


Hello, my lovies.
I have to tell you I've had an activity-filled weekend.

Yesterday, for starters, mum and I moved out of my grandparent's house (finally), and into our short term accomodation. All I can say is, thank goodness. I really think it was fundamental to my sanity that we leave that house, and I'm not joking. I feel so free now, as though I can finally focus on myself without worrying what other people will say about it. My mum is so supportive right now, and she said that she will eat exactly what I eat from now on, if it will help me to get better.

Last night, my cousin took me out for my first ever night of nightclubbing. It was....interesting to say the least, but definetly heaps of fun, and I really enjoyed myself. We got picked up by quite a few guys, two who looked 30ish (ew!!) and all of whom were drunk. My cousin hooked up with a guy, it was hilarious. I really loved the outfit I wore, it was my favourite lace neck top, with shorts and pretty tights underneath. I'll post photos some other time.

This morning, after getting home at 2am, I woke up at about 9am, had breakfast, and then got ready for the day's activities: number one, World Vegan Day. It was held at a place called Abbortsford Convent, and the place was so beautiful, I will post a phone picture that I took at another time, it was gorgeous. I entered a raffle when I got there, not really expecting to win anything, but I did!! I won a hamper filled with vegan goodies :) It had Orgran products, Eco Silk bags, vouchers, carob bars, sweet william samples and vegan pet food (which I'm going to give to my friend, seeing as how I don't have any pets).

Orgran goodies.

You can bet I'll be trying these.

World Vegan Day was awesome, I loved looking (and even trying) the different foods and everything around. I also bought an environmental bag, and a sticker sheet of animal rights stickers that are so adorable.

My favourite is the lifesaver pig one :) Sorry, the photo is a bit dark.

I had a great day, which ended with the best thing - I bought myself a Macbook Pro!!
About two months ago, my Oma gave me some money, and I didn't think I deserved anything, so I didn't even cash in the cheque. Well today, I went to the Mac store and I bought what I've wanted for years. It's so cute and perfect for me, I love it. :)

Well I'm off to watch 17 Again with my mum now. Goodnight!!