Today started off well enough, with my usual bowl of oats.

I felt quite confident and ready for my International Studies SAC (test), and spent the morning revising, as you can see below.

My International Studies books + lunch: apple strawberry puree, strawberries.

I felt so ready for this SAC, you have no idea. I got on the tram and train happily, walked from the station into school, and sat down at my desk. My teacher handed out the papers, and as soon as I turned mine over, I begun reading (we had ten minutes reading time). It was as though the questions were no longer in English, the paper blurred and the words distorted, and I couldn't take any of it in. I couldn't think straight, tears formed, and my brain turned to mush. I stood up and quietly asked the teacher if I could speak to her in the hallway. She's going to let me re take the SAC next week, thank goodness. I was asked to go home. On the way home I burst into tears and had to stop in an empty park to sit there and sob. The thoughts going through my mind were definetly not Amy's thoughts, they were ed's. This made me even more upset, and I managed (slowly) to get on the train and go home.

I debated not having a snack when I got home, but I felt so weak and shaky that I really needed to have one. The snack was one of the positives of my day, it was a fruit bar that I got for 20c at the supermarket yesterday, that mum and I bought quite a few of.

The flavour was mixed berry, and it was made completely out of dried fruit.

At the moment I'm just lying on the couch, reading blogs and watching cartoons. It's soothing, in a way.
I don't exactly know what happened today, but I hated it.


  1. Good on you for talking to the teacher i would never be brave enough to do that and since you spoke to her you get to try again may i add a little quote "if you first don't succeed try and try again"

    Take care sweetie

  2. Cheer up! Tomorrow WILL be a better day! *hugs* xx

  3. Awww. I'm sending you lots of good wishes. xox

  4. I knew I couldn't be the only person who planned like me! :)
    Thanks very much and btw I'm incredibly jealous of the HK bowl!

  5. Oh dear. ED is an evil bastard. It can swoop in ANY time, when you least expect it, and the most random times. It is constantly there, trying to nip every happiness away from you. That's why we have to be constantly vigilant and aware. Guard our heart and mind. Even when bad stuff happens, a lot of times, it is NOT worth wasting time and emotion over.

    Tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow WILL be better.