Good afternoon, lovelies. I find it funny saying that when there is a photo of porridge above this sentence, but it is actually afternoon here. Above is what I had for breakfast this morning, after a nice sleep in and leisurely cycle on the exercise bike. 1/2 cup of oats, soaked in 1.5 cups of water, with sprinklings of cinnamon, mixed spice and 1 tsp of brown sugar. The mixed spice has cinnamon in it already, but not enough for my liking, hence the extra cinnamon.

I have Wednesdays off, so today I managed to sleep in until 9am, before my usual exercise routine, then home for the oats above. After that I caught up on some blogs, then started studying for a International Studies SAC that I have tomorrow :\

I went for a nice walk up to the grocery store before lunch time, in which I bought nothing for myself!! Only groceries for my grandparents. I had two lovely cups of lemon and ginger tea after lunch, and treated myself to two coconut-rice bites.

I watched the Flinstones and the Jetsons this morning, which made my day :)

Have a lovely rest of the day.

<3

This morning I had 1/2 cup of oats cooked in water, with mixed spice (cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice). It was yum, I love spices. I've started questioning how much oats I put in, how much do you guys put in??

I had a full day at school today, and at recess I had a small banana. I had a really long philosophy class, in which I thought I was going to have a SAC, but it turned out I wrote the date down wrong, and it is actually on Friday. That made my day a bit better.

Lunch was soooo good. In my new lunchbox I had strawberries, and one of my apple cinnamon purees. It was my first time trying these, and I have to tell you, so so so so good. The cinnamon ratio was perfect, and the apples were yum. Who would've guessed that these were from the 'baby food' section?

Oh, here's a picture of my lunchbox. Ain't it cute?

And here's one of the things I bought yesterday: Coconut-Rice Bites, and Apple Cinnamon purees.

Well, season one of Sabrina calls.

Love you all.

Breakfast this morning was the usual - Porridge with cinnamon and brown sugar. You may see that this bowl is different than my usual blue bowls, last week I bought a cute hello kitty bowl from safeway.

I've been meaning to try a new breakfast, but I don't know, porridge is so safe to me, and it keeps me full, so I don't really want to try anything else. I want to try a recipe for apples in porridge that I recieved in a comment, but I haven't got sultanas yet, so I can't do that yet. Yesterday I bought some cloves, and today I bought mixed spice, so I might try these tomorrow in my porridge, sans sugar.

Tonight, mum and I walked up to Passion Foods, where I have never been before. It's really nice, and I saw a lot of things I would've liked to look at, but we didn't have much time. We ended up buying some coconut bite things, and some apple cinnamon puree/sauce. I'll put photos of them up tomorrow, because my grandparents and mum are currently in the room and look at me weirdly when I photograph my food.

Today was the first day of the last term of school. My last term of school, ever!! I'm so excited, because I really just want it to be over. It's getting so monotonous, and it's making me a bit stressed as well. Bring on exams, so I can just get them over with!!

Anyway, I have a sac tomorrow for Philosophy, which I haven't studied for, so I should go do that now.

Have a great day

:)

I'm feeling better today.

Last night I went a bit crazy, so forgive me?

This morning I woke up and forgot that it was daylight savings, and my phone hadn't changed time. So instead of being 8.30am, it was actually 9.30am. I got up, went to the gym. I came back early because I felt sick. I felt as though I couldn't stomach anything, but forced myself to eat a banana because mum and I were about to go on a walk. I'm glad I did, because we got back at 11.30am.

For brunch I had blueberry pancakes, and they were delicious. My afternoon snack whilst watching Veronica Mars was half an orange. Yummm. I'm starting to get back into them, after ages of not getting them for some reason. I think they're rivalling apples for my love :)

I'm not sure what I'll have for dinner yet, but I'm thinking maybe chickpea curry again. I love it, plus we don't have much else in the house at the moment. It's only 3pm, so my craving may change.

I just wanted to thank you guys for your comments, and thank some of you for inspiring me to nourish myself, and enjoy life. Most of my inspiration in the past few days has come from these two lovelies, Maya and Eliza, so I want to thank them both :)

Have a great day.

This may be triggering.

 I hate parties. I never used to, but now I do.
People kept saying how they couldn't recognize me, how different I looked. One of my great aunties actually said "you look good, but don't lose any more. you've lost too much, you can't lose any more." That annoyed me so much, and made me so angry for reasons I can't even explain. And the whole night I was freezing, I couldn't seem to get warm, and my family friend C kept saying "you need some body fat, then you'd be warm". Ed loved this, and told me I have way too much body fat.

I ate so many nuts last night, when I got home I felt horrible, and I literally looked pregnant. This morning I tried to eat normally, so I had some porridge and a banana. Then mum and I walked into the city and stopped for lunch. We shared indian food, and I wish I hadn't have had it. I hate eating things when I don't know what's in it, and I was screaming on the inside to stop, just stop eating. We went shopping. Then on the way home we shared a blueberry muffin. It tasted so good, but I don't know. It's like I can't even enjoy normal food anymore because ed screams at me. I walked so much today, but I couldn't justify eating what I did.

Before, I didn't mean to do it, but I body checked. I looked pregnant again, and I actually started to cry. I felt so hopeless, as though the last two days of eating have made me fat again, made me go back to where I hated being. I just want to run, but I can't run, because I can't breathe properly when I do. I just want to burn everything I ate today, and do some sit ups or something, but I can't ever do sit ups for a long time without my body going spastic.

I don't know, I don't know what to do. My brain says it's just an off day, but ed says restrict restrict restrict tomorrow.

I can't do this much longer.

Sorry if this triggers anybody, I really am sorry.

This morning I had oats with layered banana, inspired by the lovely Eliza.

:)

Oats, cooked in water, with layers of banana, and pinches of cinnamon and brown sugar.

It was yummy, and started my day off well. Today will probably be quite busy, because tonight is my grandma's 60th birthday party, so today I'm helping her get ready for it, buying stuff, etc. That's why I decided to blog this morning, because I probably won't get any other time throughout the day.

Ooh, something exciting that I realised today:

In 24 days (pretty much), it will be my 18th birthday.

[26th October]

I'm so excited!! It's come so quickly, I can't believe that I'm actually going to be eighteen soon. In a way, I almost don't want to be, I'm kind of reluctant to leave childhood behind. Everything in childhood is safe to me, so it will be a big step to leave it all, and become an "adult".

I'm wearing a new dress tonight, and for some reason that freaks me out. I'm seeing lots of people I haven't seen since July, and I'm worried about the comments they'll make. I hate when people comment on my body, it makes me feel so self-conscious, I hate it. I almost just want to wear my baggy jumper and pyjama pants, I hate that in this dress I will be so visible, that my body will be so obvious.

Well, anyway, sorry for leaving that on a bad note.

I hope you have a lovely day.

x

Ever had one of those days where all you want to do is get out of the house?

That was my day today. I had porridge and an apple for breakfast, then I had to finish off my International Politics homework, but I was restless and so at around 12pm I decided to go for a walk up to the supermarket. Supermarkets soothe me for some reason.... I have no idea why. I walked around leisurely and got back home at 1.20pm, and had an easy lunch, chickpea curry with 2 pitas. For a late afternoon snack I had another apple, half a Jocolat Chocolate Lara bar and half a Key lime pie Lara bar (which equal 1 larabar, :) ). I felt kind of bad for eating the Lara bar when I haven't done much today, but I was craving one, so I just did it.

I think the reason I hated being stuck home today wasn't the fact that I had to do homework, but more the fact that I was stuck at home with myself, and the mean, controlling part of myself. Considering this, I'm quite proud to say I actually ate what I wanted to eat, for example the Lara bar. Except for the fact that I'm now resisting the urge to exercise, it's all good.

Oh, here's my review of the Key Lime pie Lara:

Something about this bar wasn't to my liking. I love the other two Lara bar flavours I've tried, but this one seemed to have something missing. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not really a lime person. I don't know. It was still yummy, but not my favourite.

For dinner I'm planning on having a nice salad. I love salad, greens make me happy :) and I try to make my salads as multicoloured as possible.

Have a great rest of the day.

p.s the pink shoes in my previous post are from Rubi.